You know, cause I’ve still got to write Addison’s 12-month update. Never mind that she is 19 months now.
Moving has been very trying and very draining and I have felt majorly stressed about so many things — some of which I could discuss if I felt like I had more time and some of which is not really blog appropriate. I strive to make all aspects of my life both transparent and unified, so I’ve been a bit unsettled for the last several months, feeling a mounting sense of fragmentation. I can talk about this with this person, but not that person. I can mention this on my blog, but not that. It’s an exhausting way to live; I really dislike it and I have spent most of my adult life actively working against that kind of fragmentation. But sometimes you become entangled in other people’s “stuff” — it becomes part of your life, but you can’t talk about it too much because it’s not just your life and you don’t own it in quite the same way. Anyone get what I’m saying . . . or am I not being transparent enough?
I am feeling a bit more relaxed this morning than I have been, partly because we got our DMV stuff taken care of yesterday — it’s a funny story but when we got to California we realized that Neal’s driver’s license had expired nearly six months ago! — and partly because now that Neal can drive again, he’s taken the little one away for the morning and I’ve had some time to myself. I created a current balance sheet to help us make some decisions about our finances now that we are entering a period of no income. Oh, how love creating balance sheets! I feel a sort of happy calm that has eluded me lately. Next, I’m going to create a new budget template. Oh boy!
Yes! I mean, about the fragmentation. I thought I had solved it by creating different blogs but that is exactly the opposite of unified. On the other hand, it is a great relief to spill out all my secrets on my secret blog and know that no one but the people I want to read it will.
Comment by kei02003 — September 15, 2011 @ 9:06 pm
Amen to the fragmentation. I don’t think I ever really felt the full effects of it until marriage though (sad to admit). However, i am glad to see you coming back to your blog a little more. Even if just to tell us about your spread sheets.
Enjoy Cali for me.
Comment by Ishkhanoohie — September 16, 2011 @ 2:49 am
I love budgeting! I didn’t always, but once you find a system that works for you it can actually be really fun! I miss you! If you want to talk about finances, I’m getting really good at that, so shoot me an email or give me a call!
Comment by Andie — September 21, 2011 @ 5:16 pm
I’m so sorry! It’s so difficult living the feeling of a disjointed life. Sometimes I just seem to spill the beans about my other lives because I JUST CAN’T TAKE the fragmentation anymore. But mostly, I try for other people’s sake. It’s just difficult because sometimes I just have to talk about it… Anyway, I hope that you are okay! I wish I could have REALLY talked with you last week when you came into town. I’m sorry we were so crazy around here. Please come again and I will be able to sit down and have a real conversation! Good luck to you with the all day thing. That’s one reason I teach piano for a couple of hours a week….I NEED the change of pace. But mostly, it’s a wonderful thing. Also, YOU CAN DO IT (the no income thing). You are so smart and capable, but good luck!
Comment by Meghan — October 7, 2011 @ 12:34 am
[...] is going to be the leanest year financially that Neal and I have ever spent together. Although we hope to have a new income stream [...]
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