When I initially planned to give thanks in 2012, one of the first posts I was planning was a little shout-out to my most frequent blog commenters. Not that I keep track and rate friends accordingly, but apparently WordPress does because every January they send me a summary of the top 5. They also prompt me to send a thank you note; they’re very polite.
So a belated thank you to my most active commenters in 2011:
And to those most active in 2012:
I could write pages about each of you ladies and your influence on me (and hey, with any luck you could get a personalized thank you before the year o’ thanks is out!). But in the meantime, know that I appreciate you caring about what I have written. You’ve taken an interest in my life and inner workings, and reminded me that what I think and feel has meaning to others. That’s no small thing.
And thank you to all those who read and comment, no matter how “actively,” because it means a lot to me to be having a conversation with such a variety of thoughtful people.
And thank you to all those who read and don’t comment because I value you as well! Writing this blog has been one of the best choices I have ever made. Ever. It’s helped me through some rough times and it’s allowed me to help some others through some rough times. I’m ever so grateful.
This kind of sounds like a farewell post. And to be honest, I’ve considered it lately. On a practical level, I imagine what the future holds for the coming years and it’s hard to imagine how I’m going to carve out blogging time. On a psychological level, I noticed over the last several months of relative silence how eventually I stopped feeling frustrated when I couldn’t carve out the time for this self-expression. Oh well, I guess the self-expression phase of my life is over. And to be doubly honest, I’ve written a few posts over the last year that hit up against some ugly things from the past, and I thought (to paraphrase a favorite movie), That’s too much reality for a Friday night. They didn’t sign up for that. And all of this ties in to adoption and my one-word theme for last year and therapy and . . . maybe you can start to see why I don’t know where to go next. Since last summer, I have had weighing on me this feeling that I should write about “this thing.” I’ve made some progress in talking about it with Neal, but it was also a little ominous when his conclusion was, “You better tell your mom before you post it on your blog.” It’s not about my mom, but of course, it’s good to remember that everything we say about ourselves may appear to be a reflection on the people we are closest to. It’s obviously a perennial writerly issue: how to express the truth as you see it while hurting as few people as possible.
Sheesh, this post is getting ridiculous! It really was just about thanking all my loyal commenters and readers alike. Preceding paragraph notwithstanding, I’m not closing up shop. I know this blog is going to keep changing someone’s life: mine.
So the 2013 most active commenter title is still up for grabs; I’m gonna do my best to give you more to work with.