Don’t call us, we’ll call you

December 18, 2009

A very long week

Filed under: Personal, Pregnancy — Tags: , , , , , , , , — llcall @ 9:10 pm

Last night Neal told me, “I don’t like this week.”  If you know Neal’s calm, steady, quietly optimistic nature, you know that this is almost the equivalent of one of my aforementioned teary meltdowns (almost).  My poor guy is really at the end of his rope, the combined effect of the initial medical drama (and maybe too many people reminding him that if we lived in pioneer times, I’d be dead),  my constant need for help with basic life tasks like getting out of bed and picking things up, and the whirlwind of final projects, papers, and exams that should have been done by now if not for all these unexpected events.

Yesterday hit him with yet another blow: his computer crashed and in the process of whatever crazy things it was doing, also managed to reformat and erase his back-up hard drive.  Final film project (to which he had already devoted maybe 30-40 hours, and was due yesterday) = GONE.  All his other film footage for projects he’s been working on over the last two years = GONE.  Business documents, school documents = GONE.  We’ve got his computer and hard drive at two different repair shops, trying to determine if there is any recoverable data.

And yet there have been these constant reminders that God is really mindful of us.  I mentioned before that I was really grateful for my midwife’s insistence that they examine me for appendicitis.  Yesterday at our check-up appointment she told me the story from her perspective, starting out by saying that it was one of those experiences where you know God has just told you what to do.  She said that initially she had told the labor and delivery nurse that if my contractions were under control and I was hydrated, they could release me and she would call me later in the day to check in.  This was probably around 4:30 or 5 am.  She went back to sleep thinking that everything was under control, but at 6:00 am, she had a sort of lightning-bolt thought that she needed to talk to me immediately.  It was as she was talking to me that she realized appendicitis (even though, funny enough, when she talked to me on the phone she was still groggy enough that she couldn’t remember the name of the organ . . . our conversation went something like this: Jana: “You know that thing that can burst and it’s really bad.”  Me: “Appendix?”  Jana: “Yeah, that’s it.  That’s what this is.”).  She called down to the ER immediately to let them know that this was absolutely urgent if we wanted to avoid a little preemie that day.  I marvel that even though she hadn’t even seen me or talked to me for more than a minute or two, she was exactly right.  The surgeon basically agreed that in a few more hours they would have had to deliver baby girl to preserve her health.  And Neal’s week would have been substantially more traumatic.

Another unexpected thing that we hardly know how to process at this moment also happened this week.  We were given a very generous anonymous Christmas gift.  All we were told is that the givers wanted to help a family in our ward at Church, and that through prayer they learned that we were that family.  It is sort of an overwhelming thing to receive an envelope with cash in it, knowing that you are one of the truly blessed and most fortunate people on earth.  We couldn’t help but ask, why us? When the next day we found ourselves shelling out a couple hundred dollars that we weren’t planning on just to diagnose the problems with the computer and hard drive, I wondered if the money was a little tender mercy, mostly for Neal’s benefit, so that I wouldn’t hyperventilate about our monthly budget getting smashed (I tend to overreact about this type of thing; I am, afterall, my father’s stingy daughter).  But still I could hardly think that such an ultimately insignificant, very high-level “need” could merit that kind of attention when obviously there are people all around struggling to meet more basic needs.  We still keep asking ourselves, why should we be the recipients of so much generosity?  Is it to blunt the force of the last few months’ medical bills?  Or something in the future that we still can’t foresee but God is preparing a way for us to handle?  (Neal has implored me not to contemplate the latter too much for obvious reasons.)

With all the question marks we still have, I am grateful that for now I am just dwelling on this feeling of gratitude.  Our baby girl is still safe and healthy.  My wounds are healing.  We’ll survive any and all computer crashes.  And Neal is taking a short break from all his heavy duties to do something that helps him unwind and relax: grocery shopping.  (And yes, I’m dead serious, walking the grocery aisles with his headphones on soothes his little soul.  He’s a weird dude, that one, but I love him.)



  1. Wow! I cannot believe everything happening to you guys. Poor Neal!! I cannot imagine losing such projects! Horrible, horrible. But, then–wow again because of the generous couple in your ward. I’ve heard stories of things like that, and I’ve always hoped something like that would happen to us, but maybe it doesn’t happen if you are constantly hoping for free money…Anyway, that is AWESOME! I’m sure it did a lot to lift your spirits. Glad baby is still doing well. I love reading your updates–so keep them coming. 🙂

    Comment by Jenn — December 18, 2009 @ 10:41 pm

  2. Hug hug hug hug hug. The grocery shopping thing makes me laugh. And I dearly hope nothing (more) major will happen in the future!

    Comment by kei02003 — December 18, 2009 @ 11:55 pm

  3. You guys have been hit pretty hard the last few days. I love hearing about all the tender mercies you’ve received. It helps to think that someone is watching out for us. I had another thought, too. Remember how we were originally going to try to do the shower on Monday. It is now moved back to Tuesday night. Everything to give you more time and be able to heal. Love you. Hang in there.

    Comment by Audrey — December 19, 2009 @ 12:01 am

  4. I think Jana is a great midwife! I am glad I have her too.

    Comment by Yulia Phelps — December 19, 2009 @ 12:38 am

  5. So sorry to hear about your computer Neal, stupid computer gods. But happy to know there is another person out there who finds methodically pacing up and down every grocery isle a relaxing experience.

    Comment by Kirsten — December 19, 2009 @ 3:57 pm

  6. Lindsey,
    I am so happy things are going okay for you now! I have been thinking about you so much lately and am so glad to hear you are recovering. I am so sorry about what happened with Neal…is everything going to be okay? I sure miss seeing you! I can’t get out much because the doctor’s have said that Emma needs to stay inside pretty much until April…that makes for a long inside winter:)! However, I’ll have to have Cade watch Emma at night next week so I can come say hi! I hope you are doing better. I love you.

    Comment by Kellie Close — December 22, 2009 @ 7:15 am

  7. You know Lindsay, you’re one of those people that if/when I get to heaven, I’m going to go to the movie theatre and request tickets for the showing of Lindsay’s life. At least her life when pregnant. What adventures you have.
    That’s neat about the nice church people. Stephen and I sure wish we had thought of that idea.

    Comment by Rachel C. — December 28, 2009 @ 11:17 pm

  8. I’m glad you are doing a little better. I hope you had a great Christmas. I love the grocery shopping thing. I might have to try it. People would leave you alone and you could feel like you’re in your own world. Of course, I would have to leave the kids at home – oh wait, that alone might make shopping better 😉

    Comment by Jolene — January 2, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

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