Don’t call us, we’ll call you

July 31, 2010

Pictures for the Weekend: My other baby

Filed under: Family, Pictures for the Weekend — llcall @ 4:49 am

I know you all come here for that cute little lady (although recently when I called her that, I was informed by my adorable 7-year-old cousin that “she doesn’t look like a lady”), but today I want you to appreciate this little cutie:

As cute as Neal is, I've got to say Robin's the real star of this pic

Oh. my. adorableness.

Can I have some face with those glasses?

One day of me in a tux. One, that's it. (He meant it.)

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July 29, 2010

Speaking of personal . . .

Filed under: Family, Personal — Tags: , , , — llcall @ 6:00 pm

What could be more so than sleeping arrangements? 🙂

But seriously, everyone already knows that Neal and I don’t sleep in the same bed or room.  So it’s not personal anymore.  It is, however, a topic that’s getting greater attention, as new custom homes are increasingly built with dual master bedrooms and studies have found that almost 1 in 4 married couples sleep separately.  If you’re interested, this link includes a video clip from the Today show as well as a NY Times article weighing the pros and cons.

Even with our personal experience, Neal and I were both surprised to read the 1 in 4 statistic.  I fear that next Sunday at church, I’ll be looking around asking myself, do they or don’t they?

July 28, 2010

Virtual trade-offs

Filed under: Personal — Tags: , , , , , , , — llcall @ 6:42 pm

I recently read this very timely article, “The Web Means the End of Forgetting,” in the New York Times magazine.  The article is about the things we choose to reveal online about ourselves and the collateral damage that sometimes results.  It’s timely for me because I’ve been considering what I want to do with my blog.  I’ve shared a lot of pretty personal stuff on here, and for the most part, that has been a good decision.  It’s been a basically positive experience and in line with what I want for my life, to live and present myself as a whole person, not segmenting for different audiences or devoting much time to image maintenance.

But there are obviously downsides: people misinterpreting things I’ve said, or reading something into a personal tidbit that is inaccurate or unintended, or missing my jokes (the real cardinal sin! ;)).

While the article largely deals with things like drunken indiscretions (not my problem — I’m Mormon, remember?), the idea of “good” vs. “bad” information is salient for everyone.  Consider this quote from the article:

Alessandro Acquisti, a scholar at Carnegie Mellon University, studies the behavioral economics of privacy — that is, the conscious and unconscious mental trade-offs we make in deciding whether to reveal or conceal information, balancing the benefits of sharing with the dangers of disclosure. He is conducting experiments about the “decay time” and the relative weight of good and bad information — in other words, whether people discount positive information about you more quickly and heavily than they discount negative information about you. His research group’s preliminary results suggest that if rumors spread about something good you did 10 years ago, like winning a prize, they will be discounted; but if rumors spread about something bad that you did 10 years ago, like driving drunk, that information has staying power.

I’m not so worried about “decay time” at the moment, because I often feel like I am dealing with the real time effects of divulging information that some people consider “bad.”  For example, although I feel that postpartum depression, which I’ve talked about a number of times, should not be stigmatized or treated as inherently “bad” information, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that some people view it that way, and it gives them pause when they try to reconcile that with other “good” things they know about me.

Toward the end of the article, another paragraph popped out at me, which, for the moment, helped me come to terms with my frustrations about these issues:

Moreover, the narrow focus on privacy as a form of control misses what really worries people on the Internet today. What people seem to want is not simply control over their privacy settings; they want control over their online reputations. But the idea that any of us can control our reputations is, of course, an unrealistic fantasy. The truth is we can’t possibly control what others say or know or think about us in a world of Facebook and Google, nor can we realistically demand that others give us the deference and respect to which we think we’re entitled. On the Internet, it turns out, we’re not entitled to demand any particular respect at all, and if others don’t have the empathy necessary to forgive our missteps, or the attention spans necessary to judge us in context, there’s nothing we can do about it.

The author, Jeffrey Rosen, rightly points out that online, on Facebook, Google, we can’t control what people think or say about us.  But if you delete all the references to the internet, it’s still 100% accurate.  As much as I have sometimes thought someone has misinterpreted me in the blogosphere, I’ve similarly thought they’ve missed important context about me in a face-to-face interaction.  And there’s just nothing I can do about that.  Nobody gets it all, they just get moments, snapshots, impressions.  That’s the nature of the virtual world because that’s the nature of the “real” world, the nature of human beings.

So I guess I’ll just keep writing what I want on my blog, when I want (though I’m not sure I’m going to get back to the rigorous posting schedule anytime soon as baby girl is still readjusting to life back in Utah and a little erratic lately), and I’ll enjoy the positive consequences and swallow the negative.

July 22, 2010

We’re back in Utah . . .

Filed under: Family, Personal — llcall @ 5:51 pm

. . . and I want my mommy and daddy!

How can a girl possibly go back to cooking her own meals and caring for her own child?  Ridiculous.

July 14, 2010

Not to blog . . . apparently

Filed under: Family, Personal — llcall @ 6:45 pm

The decision somehow seemed to be made for me: I have done both less thesis work and less blogging than I expected.  Shocking, I know.

Some things I’ve seen and done more of than planned:

More family

More baby showdowns

More mummies at this exhibit

More pure, unadulterated sweetness

July 2, 2010

Pictures for the Weekend: I heart drugs (prescription, of course)

Filed under: Family, Pictures for the Weekend — llcall @ 6:00 pm

“Hey, where’s my drugs?”

“Oh yeah!  That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Right hand . . . “

“Now left hand . . . “

“Now if I could just . . . get it . . . in my mouth . . . “

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