Don’t call us, we’ll call you

October 7, 2010

Poetry: Untitled, 2000

Filed under: Personal — Tags: — llcall @ 10:00 pm

When I reread this poem, it takes me back to that day, that moment.  I literally feel what I felt then.  It’s powerful for me.

There’s no figurative in my story

The way I watched my future burn
Obliterating full years
Until even today is a memory
As fall was caught in the inferno.

The embers failed before the final
White was turned to black.
I had to strike another match
To keep my darkness uniform.

I smeared the ashes of compulsory forgetfulness
With these pale hands allowing myself
To disappear into heaviness I have learned to love.
I miss the status quo comfort.

I cannot comprehend happiness for
There is no more numbing in my painful joint.
I have given up on law prevailing and
I reach for the bottle one last time
As I am dropped from the roll of life.

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3 Comments »

  1. I meant to comment on yesterday’s poem, but wanted more time to really read and process. Thank you for sharing these with us. I don’t know what the subject of these were but creating something so intensely personal goes hand in hand with sharing part of that private, core piece of you that isn’t easily or readily exposed to the world. I know how that takes courage

    Comment by Emily Tew — October 7, 2010 @ 10:29 pm

  2. I’m guessing this has to do with your crash. This is a very heavy piece. This is a great example of how wonderful poetry is for helping bear the weight of heavy emotions. At least, it always helps me that way. We need to talk soon—reading these poems makes me feel so much more connected to you, then I remember it’s just a computer, not you I’m with!

    Comment by Vickie Blanchard — October 8, 2010 @ 1:16 am

  3. Wow. I can conceivably see a few times you could have written this about things that were happening in your life. It’s really powerful. I probably would rather ask you in person if I’m guessing what this is about. Take care. Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by Audrey — October 8, 2010 @ 12:56 pm


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