Don’t call us, we’ll call you

May 10, 2011

Dearest Addison,

Filed under: Family, Motherhood, Personal — Tags: , , , — llcall @ 2:53 am

I’m a little late for your first birthday.  But in my defense, I’ve been busy.  Really, really busy.  You’ve been busy too.  Really, really busy.  You’re one busy girl.  No joke.  You know you have a busy, energetic kid when other parents of toddlers comment on it!  Every time I take you to storytime at the library, you’re a social butterfly. You float from person-to-person, especially kids.  You wave (you have the most adorable, coy, little finger-wave).  You smile. You try to climb into their strollers.  You steal their books.  You go fishing in their bags.  You grab their sippy cups.  And you run away from me when I come to track you down.  The other parents watch in awe at this little girl (because you’re still a shorty) that still looks a baby (because you still have very little hair — blame me for that) but runs like a track star.  It is tiring for a sickie like me.

But oh goodness, you are fun.  F-U-N!  Everyone thinks so.  People comment everywhere we go about how friendly, how good-natured, how adorable, and what a tease you are!  Just this afternoon, we were upstairs visiting Grandma and Grandpa (you love to run around upstairs, by the way, pretending like you are going to get into things you aren’t supposed to — Grandma’s china, anyone? — until I come chasing after you) when this happened: you were running at full speed toward Grandpa’s chair when you stopped suddenly and began to back up.  But you didn’t turn around and run the other way, you just started running BACKWARDS.  It only lasted for a few seconds before you fell on your big-diapered bum.  And we all laughed.  And you saw that we were laughing at you and started to laugh in response; you gave these big, loud guffaws every time you could see that we were laughing at you.  You love to tease.  You love to make people laugh.  And you LOVE to be the center of attention.

I worry sometimes that I won’t be the kind of mom that you want or need.  I just don’t have the stamina for all that running around.  When people ask me about it, I say, “I’m a knowledge worker, not a heavy lifter.  And parenting at this stage feels a lot like heavy lifting.”  And so you go to a babysitter for a few hours everyday.  I miss you when you’re gone; I wish that I could have you with me all the time — I want to see every face you make, every new thing you learn.  But I know that I can’t have you with me all the time.  CAN. NOT.  For reals.  My body just wasn’t built for this stage of your life.  I try not to worry about it too much . . . because my body carried you and nursed you and helped you develop into this healthy-as-a-horse, running-so-hard-you-catch-air-when-you-fall girl that you are.  And because I know I’ve got tricks up my sleeve for the day you can sit still for more than three seconds at a time.  Part of me wants that day to come sooner rather than later, but the other part of me (it wins out every time) wants to keep watching you run like the little 15-month-old maniac that you are forever.  As long as daddy’s there to chase after you.

Love to my dearest baby girl,
Ma-ma-ma-ma (that’s how you say it, unless you are telling me to come here, when it is just a mildly-annoyed “ma”)

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6 Comments »

  1. So sweet. Personality is a miraculous thing

    Comment by Emily T — May 10, 2011 @ 3:00 am

  2. Such a splendid love letter to your baby girl! Enjoy who she is. She may never, ever slow down until she has a babe of her own. Then SHE will dream of rest and uninterrupted sleep. (A lot of good that does you.) Why do you think the time-honored term “progeny payback” exists? (Oh, maybe that is my term.)

    Your worry means you are a mom. And none of us are ever good enough, perfect enough, patient enough, or with enough stamina. Some days we just barely make it until a wise Papa can take over; I’m grateful you have a sitter that helps out. Parenting is not for cowards. Please know that you are just who Father wants to parent this little one, imperfect as you may feel. To be honest, the heavy lifting continues even when they are grown.

    Preschool is not a bad investment, nor is daily pool time (water has a gift of wearing busy people out), or the myriad other activities available–movement and dance classes, gymnastics, Brownies, and more. What worlds are yet to explore! Rejoice when a sibling comes so that she has a built-in companion. And yes, that, too, can be a two-edged sword, but oh, so necessary. Father is careful not to give us more than we can handle, but sometimes it feels like we are pushed to the brink. We are stretched; it requires every ounce of effort we have, but He is there to hear us and guide. Know that you are a blessing to busy-girl Addison Sage, and that she is an incomparable blessing to you and her family!

    Comment by Lorie Call — May 10, 2011 @ 7:17 am

  3. Part of being an honest mom is acknowledging privately (or in this case, publicly) your limitations. At least I think so. Can any mom fulfill ALL of their child’s needs? I don’t think so, and I don’t think it’s meant to be that way either.

    Good for you for being such a wonderful mom. Happy (late) Birthday, Addison! We miss seeing your cute little smile.

    Comment by Jen — May 10, 2011 @ 2:03 pm

  4. This is a very sweet letter.

    Comment by vblanchard — May 10, 2011 @ 6:39 pm

  5. Oh this makes me miss you guys so much! 😦 I want to see little miss busy pants in person, but now I have to go and take care of my own busy pants…

    Comment by Ishkhanoohie — May 18, 2011 @ 7:45 pm

  6. Your letter is a treasure. Your daughter is a treasure too. Love you all!

    Comment by Grammy — June 26, 2011 @ 12:26 am


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