Don’t call us, we’ll call you

August 28, 2013

Speaking of friends . . .

Filed under: Family, Motherhood, Personal — Tags: , , , , — llcall @ 4:20 am

Some days I think we need an extrovert on call to understand what goes through Addison’s head. Today would be one of those, when a seemingly wonderful day — we watched “The Sound of Music” TWICE and she loved it! (except for her anger over “Ralph” going with the meanies when clearly, “Liesl LOVES HIM!”); she even told us she liked our new house — suddenly devolved into a heartrending meltdown.

“I can’t be in my room without my friends! I can’t live in this house. I just can’t handle it anymore! I miss my friends in California [she still doesn’t believe us that we continue to live in California]. I need to see Kirsten and Audrey and Lillie and Andrew! There are not so many people here! I just can’t handle it anymore!”

All we wanted her to do was play alone in her room for 30 minutes. Oy.

Which reminds me of another even more intense meltdown back in June while we were staying with my friend Victoria. One afternoon, Victoria was planning on taking all the kids (she has two daughters) to the store, but at the last minute, we decided it was best for me and Addison to stay behind. I thought, No big deal, Addison will enjoy a walk. Little did I know the ginormous firestorm that was about to erupt out of that little 3-foot-tall frame. As she watched their car drive away, she screamed. She ran after the car. She flailed when I gathered her back up. She kicked and hit. She refused to speak to me. She ran back out into the street.

I offered her every incentive to calm down I could think of, including outright candy bribery, but she instead preferred to plant herself on the street corner, arms outstretched in the direction Victoria’s car had gone, and scream, “DON’T YEAVE US! PLEASE DON’T YEAVE US! DON’T YEAVE ME IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!” For an ENTIRE HOUR.

How not getting to go to a store with your friends could feel that soul-crushing I may never understand (despite the fact that I’m  not too far from being an ambivert). The thing that I would love to understand is whether these outbursts are largely about her being a typically nutty three-year-old or if we need to prepare ourselves for these as a permanent fixture of our people-loving, attention-seeking daughter’s life. Anyone care to hazard a guess?

As long as we’re on the subject, I got a huge kick out of this list of 15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You Are an Extrovert. It seemed only right after how many introvert-focused lists I’ve seen floating around lately.



  1. I think more than anything, at least from the two scenarios, it is being in a new environment that she “can’t take”. I mean she is definitely an extrovert, so she attaches to people quickly, but from what she was saying when Victoria left her it sounds like it was the fear of being in a new environment and the three things she attached or formed a bond with in this new neighborhood (sorry Linds- you don’t count I these situations), were leaving her, and that’s nerve racking, especially when you are a smart 3 year-old.

    You’ll see. she’ll warm up to your new home and suddenly she will be lamenting leaving the peace of your home, or at least her friends (the bugs). 😄

    Anyway, one possibility but I’m probably WAY off!

    Comment by Ishkhanoohie — August 28, 2013 @ 1:03 pm

    • No, I think you make a good point — and in that sense, it’s comforting because with age, she should be able to get that more under control. I think the thing that is so perplexing is how she turns so quickly from saying she likes this place (last weekend she didn’t want to go back to Orange because she wanted to stay at our new house) to “I can’t take it ANYMORE!” Do you know anything about mood swings over there? 😉

      Comment by llcall — August 28, 2013 @ 5:22 pm

      • What?? Mood swings? After 7 sisters and 3 daughters, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I suggest running for the hills- right now!! 😄

        Comment by Ishkhanoohie — August 29, 2013 @ 4:25 am

  2. I will never get over how expressive and in tune with her feelings Addison is for her age! It is just uncanny! And hilarious. 🙂

    I say, you’ve got a problem (Addison needs more friends nearby), and I’ve got a solution (let’s be neighbors). Heads: FP, Tails: Cburg. 😉

    Comment by Victoria — August 31, 2013 @ 1:30 am

  3. I can relate. Back in my feisty childhood days, I used to get upset anytime my mom “went into town” (we lived in the country, you know) without telling/taking me. Addison is a more extreme extravert, so you can count on her moving to NYC by the age of 18. 😉 Hope you’re enjoying your new house!

    Comment by Andrea — September 2, 2013 @ 2:32 am

  4. I wish you were bringing her on your vacation! I would love to see my little extrovert friend in action

    Comment by kei02003 — September 4, 2013 @ 7:25 pm

  5. I’m thinking it’s a permanent fixture. Just sayin’. Because I still feel like that, sometimes. We just moved, too, you know. And while I don’t stand on the street corner yelling for an hour, I do engage in other unproductive behaviors brought on by a feeling of loneliness.Jacob has probably lost count of the number of times I’ve whined about how “I don’t have any friends” since we moved 2 months ago. And I say this, even though there are 3 women I was comfortable enough, friendly enough with, to invite to come to a movie with me. I say it because I feel it. Even though I have friends, I don’t yet have all the types of friends and types of interactions with people that I find necessary for my personal social balance. (Yes, I think about things like personal social balance.) Aaaanyway, if anything, I say treat her with care. Because these feelings are not going to go away in her, she is just going to start to control them a little (as her emotional regulation improves with age and practice) and hide them a lot when she senses that others don’t want to know she is lonely. My 2 cents.

    Comment by Alysa — September 7, 2013 @ 3:53 am

  6. Does she have a friend named Audrey in Orange? Cool!!

    Comment by bookncurls — September 10, 2013 @ 2:49 am

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